by Gabriela Marengo
Have you ever felt undervalued by a teacher or an employer because you prefer working alone? Have you ever noticed that there’s a very specific ideal for what a successful person’s personality is like? These are a few of many ideas that writer and lecturer Susan Cain discusses in her bestselling book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (2012). In this non-fiction book, she discusses introversion and extroversion from a cultural perspective, arguing that the former are often undervalued in society.
Quiet is well-documented with professional opinions from psychologists, testimonies, and more. And because this book helped me better understand myself and others, I chose to share 10 key things with our fellow BookSloths.
1. Introversion and shyness are not the same thing.
Though you might hear people use these terms interchangeably, Cain explains that they’re not synonymous because “shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating.”
2. Introversion and extroversion are not mutually exclusive.
They exist on a spectrum and produce different types of people when they interact with other factors, such as personality traits and personal histories.
3. “Appearance is not reality.”
Though this quote pretty much speaks for itself, it’s important to remember you shouldn’t try to predict someone else’s behavior based on what’s in plain sight. You never know what’s going on inside.
4. Collaboration doesn’t always encourage creativity.
Group dynamics can impede creative thinking, which is why it’s important to find a balance between collaborative work, stimulation, independent projects, and downtime. This way all kinds of people have a shot at doing the best work they can.
5. Boldness does not equal substance.
We’re all probably familiar with scenarios where a bold and charming person is considered ideal for leadership and to achieve general success, but this is not necessarily true. In Cain’s own words,
“don’t mistake assertiveness or eloquence for good ideas”.
6. On doing what you love
If you find that doing what you love means having to do things that make you uncomfortable (like public speaking or talking in front of a camera), look for ways to make it easier on you and don’t forget to reward yourself.
7. Don’t try to gather all kinds of power.
Find out what your power is and own it.
8. Charismatic leadership is a myth.
Because we can get better results when we use our differences to bring different values to the table, the ideal “leader” shouldn’t always be a charismatic, bold type by default.
9. There is such a thing as social overstimulation and, for introverts, it can be incredibly exhausting.
Don’t try to force somebody (including yourself) to be what they’re not.
10. On interacting with people
When it comes to interacting with people of the other side of the spectrum, Cain suggests that the best way is to expose yourself gradually to new situations and people while respecting their limits and yours.
We hope these points encouraged you to want to learn more about introversion. Just in case you’ve already read Quiet and are interested in similar topics, check out these other books:
Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior by Leonard Mlodinow: “From the bestselling author of The Drunkard’s Walk and coauthor of The Grand Design (with Stephen Hawking), a startling and eye-opening examination of how the unconscious mind shapes our experience of the world.”
Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto by Anneli Rufus: “Rufus rebuts the prevailing notion that aloneness is indistinguishable from loneliness, the fallacy that all of those who are alone don’t want to be, and wouldn’t be, if only they knew how.”
Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength by Laurie A. Helgoe, PhD: “Psychologist and introvert Laurie Helgoe unveils the genius of introversion. Introverts gain energy and power through reflection and solitude. Our culture, however, is geared toward the extrovert. The pressure to get out there and get happier can lead people to think that an inward orientation is a problem instead of an opportunity.”
What are some of your favorite books about introversion? Let us know!
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